i hate myself

i hate this, i hate fighting. i always make things up in my head and create a problem. i feel like i'm really useless.I HAD TO BE SO FUCKING STUBBORN AND ARROGANT. i don't think i can function without her. i don't feel like eating, drinking or sleeping. i'll just smoke . i have this really bad we will be together again. even if i die from this or get back together, either way my suffering will end.  i don't know if ur reading this but im sorry for the pain i caused u. i just want to let u know, I Love You, i always did and i always will.